Six months of seperation, six months of trying to rediscover my own identity. It may seem like no time for some, however, for me, I can say that six months is a new lifetime. I have come to realize that I am so much better off emotionally without him. He was an *%*@(*$@ but then again don't we say that about all our ex's. He's probably describing me as the same, but I know different. I'm not the one who screwed around and I'm not the one who destroyed dreams. So, I am not the one who bears the shame and guilt of this marriage dieing.
Anyways, I am the one who will grow from this experience. I am the one who has learned to not get suckered in again by anyone and that if I do help a friend that I make sure that the limits are placed on the amount of help I provide. I will not let just anyone hold that title of friend. I will not let someone move in with me and stay until they drain me and my family then just throw me aside.
I realize that I am worth more than I have accepted in the past, and that I regardless of my health deserve to be respected and cherished. I am a gift to this world, like so many others, I forgot that and became a piece of flesh to be used and abused and then discarded. Life is more than that and I am now in the head space where I can see that life is more than the superficial or the physical, at least it is for me.
I can feel my heart skipping through each day, although my body isn't do the same, I can get work done and I can feel good about what is going on. I laugh at the fact that I put up with stuff I normally wouldn't. I have learned that I can not compromise my values and he was a BIG COMPROMISE. Oh well, live and learn I say.. live and learn. ...
Another six months and I can get rid of all residue that is associated with him and really have a party. A divorce Party what a novel idea!