Friday, May 12, 2006

Each Day

Here I am writing again. Writing is a wonderful way of getting the garbage out of your system. For me this blog is going to be my therapy since I have lost the person I was suppose to be able to count on, my husband.
Yes, I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm scared BIG TIME! I'm on a treatment that has caused and does have severe side effects. I know for many reasons I have to end my marriage, my husband can't handle my disease, so he turned to another woman. He left me to be with someone who is healthy. Why is it that I have to be sick, to the point where everyone that is suppose to love me runs away from me? I don't understand what I can do. Everyone tells me to be strong, but I'm so tired of being strong, I struggle each day with trying to be strong and I am feeling more tired now than I did when I was dealing with so much pain.
I know and hear what people are saying that he doesn't deserve me, however I wish I could have someone to hold me to love me and to make me feel like everything is okay. I'm still hurting. I'm scared about tomorrow and I'm scared about what is going to happen if I have to go into the hospital again. What is it about life, always throwing me curve balls.

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