Marriage Dies

On April 13, 2006 I had enough! I realize that marriage is for better or for worse, but there comes a point where everyone says enough. Through the six years of being with this man, I was reminded constantly that I was inadequate and lacking the means necessary to be the perfect wife. Every day, in his own way I would be pushed out and reminded that I was not the one he held in his heart, in his mind, in his soul. The vows I took, committing me to him seemed to echo in my mind, trapped and alone because he did not want me anymore. I could see it in his eyes, the fire in his heart was gone.

When I heard that he had another, someone who he turned to and left me a lone in my torment, I knew I could never have the dream of loving him, the hopes of being with him, and the promise of his heart, body, and soul being connected to me. He now belongs to someone else, who knew he was with me but didn't care enough to say no. He said he would never leave me, however he left me a long time ago, when he first ran to another woman's arms.

Now, I have set him free to explore the world without me, to reach for the stars without me and to love without me. I take this time and pick up the broken pieces of my soul which has turned to dust, hoping I can find a pulse to grow again. His betrayal pierced my dreams, shattering them into little pieces, will love touch me the way it touched me with him? He opened my soul and let me share it only to smash it when he walked out the door.

Each day I grow a little bit stronger, each day I learn how to see the colours of the sunset, yet the pain of his absence bites me, reminding me that what was is no more.